What is This Even About?

    Hiya -waves- I honestly don't even know that myself. So let me recap what DA was to me to start.
    I made my account on the last day of summer of my junior year into senior year of high school. I was so excited. I thought I was good; truth was I sucked. But my life was getting better not connected to DA but I was happy and energetic for the first time in a while. Despite my lack of any skill, I got lots of views and exploded in growth in my opinion. I set up things like my chat and that was always occupied when I was online.
    Well then things happened. I entered a pokemon community which loved me but due to unknown things many no longer do whereas some love me there. Hence I am not in my chat here as the site has its own chats and I moderate them. I stopped coming here more and more after well a pseudo-family I had here on DA revealed baggage some of which seems unforgivable and drove us apart. Now I only really see one of them and she means more to me than I tell her and another every once in a while mostly due to my inactivity lol whereas two of them I get angry just thinking about. 
    So DA deteriorated for me. My page views plummeted and while once that would have made me cry; frankly it does not bother me in the slightest overall. For a while now I have been viewing DA less as a community and more as an upload medium. But thinking now I miss here. I cannot say I will be here 8 hours a day as I was at my high(i really as close to that lol) but I can definitely be here more, maybe role play/talk in my chat again, etc. I honestly would like that.
Now as for now why uploads have dropped. Yes sometims its laziness/business(college full-time and work part-time) but often I draw the same if not more. Its just now I have higher standards. I hate what I draw. here I am now on draft 5 of a drawing just because each time something bothered me. Eventually I tear the drawings all up and out of frustration I give up. Draft one might have had the face poor so I focus on that but then the pose is way off so draft three remedies that but now I started too high up on the picture so I redraw it so its in the right place so draft 4 seems perfect but then a stubborn, heavy mark wont erase so onto draft five where now the leg is wrong and the hair is poor so draft six beings. And you get the idea. I used to be proud of my work but now it almost repulses me as I put so much effort into a piece and then it looks awful to me. 
    So in other words I raised my standards but cannot always deliver. I also want to branch out more; I love my OCs to death but even I can admit that a limit is not helping me. SO trying to mix back in some diversity. Some fanart, some guys, maybe even a few different styles than just my "normal" or "usual" which is a modified HOTD(High School of the Dead) style with cartoon anime elements thrown in and an (over)emphasis on the face. I would like to mix it up a bit! And be here more!
    So if you read to here thank you and just leave a comment, send me a note, etc, anything with the word "hair" thrown in so I know, k? Feel free to start a conversation with me right now as I miss so many of you and would love to meet even more! Thanks for reading and here is to better days/experiences!(smily face)
    NiceGuyAnimeFan aka Ms. Sysbit(I know lol but its a thing) aka Jake signing out for now. -winks-